


Peradventure/Mayhap/Shunpike

by seraphichan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Jean is directionally challenged, M/M, Mild Language, but they run into a hot jogger that they get directions from, so it's all good, these boys have the pottiest of mouths lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphichan/pseuds/seraphichan
Summary: He points as he talks, fingers drawing a map in the air. Jean can tell by Eren’s furrowed eyebrows and the glazed look in his eyes that he isn’t listening. By the way his head is tilted Jean figures he’s trying to find the outline of the guy’s dick in his jogging pants. Not that Jean is doing any better. He’s been watching the guy’s lips move without actually hearing what’s coming out of them, too focused on imagining what it would be like to kiss them.





	

“You sure you know where you’re going?”

“Yes.”

“Because I swear we’ve been by here before.”

“We haven’t.”

Eren goes quiet and they continue driving in silence.

It doesn’t last long.

“You _sure_?”

“ _Yes_. It’ll be right around this corner, just you wait and--”

Jean jams on the break and they come to a stop.

“--fuck.”

“‘Dead End No Entry’,” Eren reads slowly. “That’s funny, I could have sworn the bar was called ‘Dukes.’ Huh.”

“Okay, so maybe we’re a little lost,” Jean says as he turns the car around. “We’ll just go back the way we came.”

“Just had to avoid the highway, didn’t you? ‘It’s rush hour, Eren, there’ll be traffic’,” he mimics under his breath.

Jean sighs, keeps driving. After another ten minutes of pure guess work that gets them nowhere, and a series of very disgruntled sighs from Eren stewing in the passenger’s seat, Jean pulls off on the side of the road and shuts the vehicle off.

“Okay, we’re completely fucking lost.”

Eren gives him a look that says ‘No kidding’ then goes back to glaring out the window.

“I’m sorry.”

After a few more moments of silence Eren punches him in the arm. “That’s for not listening to me and turning around sooner.”

Then he leans over and kisses Jean on the cheek. “And that’s for me being a passive-aggressive shit about it. So...GPS?”

Jean gets his phone out. “No service.”

“Hitchhike?”

“I haven’t seen another car in ages.”

“I am trying to be helpful here, throw me a bone.”

“What about that guy?” Jean asks, pointing at a jogger running down the opposite side of the road.

Eren hums. “I said bone, not boner.”

“ _Eren_.”

“What? I can’t help he’s hot.”

It’s not like Jean can disagree. Even at a distance he finds the man attractive.

“Well, just try and keep it in your pants while I ask him for directions.” Jean rolls down the window and leans against the door. “Excuse me!” he calls.

The jogger slows to a stop, eyes them both warily.

“We’re lost. Could you give us directions?”

“To that ass,” Eren mumbles beside Jean.

“ _Shut up_.” Jean smacks his arm.

“Fuck off,” the man says and starts running again.

“Wait, please! We seriously just need directions.”

The guy stops again and sighs. “Where to?” he asks, keeping a healthy distance away from their car.

“Dukes.”

“The one in Wymansport?”

“Yeah.”

“Turn the fuck around you’re going the wrong way.”

“Yeah. We got that. I was hoping for something a little more specific?”

He sighs again.

“Okay, turn the fuck around, _and then_ take a left at Lake. It won’t be marked, but it’s the first road you’ll get to. Take that for half a mile and then--”

He points as he talks, fingers drawing a map in the air. Jean can tell by Eren’s furrowed eyebrows and the glazed look in his eyes that he isn’t listening. By the way his head is tilted Jean figures he’s trying to find the outline of the guy’s dick in his jogging pants. Not that Jean is doing any better. He’s been watching the guy’s lips move without actually hearing what’s coming out of them, too focused on imagining what it would be like to kiss them.

“Easy,” the guy finishes.

Jean and Eren look at each other, then Jean sticks his phone out of the window.

“Could you type that out? Just in case?” Jean asks.

He squints at them, but comes forward - fuck he’s even more attractive up close - until he can reach out his arm to swipe the phone from Jean’s hand.

“I carry, so if you asshats try anything I will cap you both,” he warns as he begins typing.

“Define ‘anything’,” Eren says as he shoves past Jean and leans out the window.

The guy stops typing and raises an eyebrow at him. “Excuse you?”

“Like if I were to say ‘Do you always exercise in those pants or would you like to get in mine?’ what would you consider that?”

Jean shoves him.

“ _Dude!_ ” Eren hisses, rubbing at his head where it hit the frame of the car.

“Don’t ‘dude’ me! You’re fucking _hitting on him_?”

“I’m trying to get us laid, you asshole!”

“First off, that was the absolute _lamest_ pick-up line I’ve ever heard. And second, we just met him, we don’t even know his name, and we’re _lost as fuck_. Now is not the time to try and get some dick!”

“Like you don’t want his dick, too!”

“ _That’s not the point!_ ”

“You’re right. The _point_ is I don’t need to get some dick if I already have you, you _fucking dick._ ”

“Great comeback, Yeager.” Jean shoves him again.

Eren retaliates by elbowing him in the stomach. There is a tense moment where both of them glare at each other. It is interrupted by the slam of a car door. They both scramble to turn around and find the man sitting in their back seat.

“He’s in our car,” Eren whispers in what is definitely _not_ a whisper.

“Yes, he is,” the guy says. “Now, do you want to get to Dukes or what? It’ll be easier if I just show you this way.”

Eren slides back into his seat and they both turn around.

“He’s in our car,” Eren whispers again in that same not-actually-a-whisper tone.

Jean punches him in the shoulder. “Stop being stupid or he might get back out.”

“Maybe _you_ should start driving or he might get back out.”

“Maybe you should shut up,” Jean says, but he starts the car anyway.

He pulls off the side of the road and they drive in awkward silence, the man only speaking to tell them when to turn. With his directions it isn’t long before they pull onto the main drag of Wymansport and pull into a parking space in front of the bar.

“Ta-da,” the man says.

“Thanks,” Jean says as they all climb out of the car.

“Yeah,” Eren agrees, “and, uh...sorry. About before. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

Levi shrugs, then holds out his hand. “Phone,” he says.

Jean rummages in his pocket and gives it to him. His fingers tap across the screen and then he gives it back as quickly as he took it. Jean stares at the screen, Eren doing the same over his shoulder. There is a new number there under the contact name ‘Levi.’

“If you guys are too fucked up to drive, give me a call,” Levi says. “Later,” he adds as he turns and starts to walk away.

“Jean?”

“Yes, Eren?”

“Let’s go get fucked up.”


End file.
